and in other news...

Today, I celebrated my 9th anniversary by myself. My sweets texted me from Rome, Georgia, shortly after dropping off a disassembled basketball court and picking up a load of steel going somewhere in Kansas. Belatedly, I realized after a Facebook post or two that I had neglected to tell certain key family, friemly (friends that are family), and friends that D took a job as a flat bed trucker.

D's truck -- Sunset Tennessee

At this point in a discussion about D taking a trucking job, there's usually the unheard screech of a record player. People who have known us for awhile have said about the same thing.

• What, why? I can't afford my healthcare on my salary alone. We need the income to cover the difference.
• What about the dogs? We don't need an entire salary to pay for the difference. I can check the dogs into doggy spa for the days I'm gone for work, and I'm not traveling as much due to lymphedema.

• Long haul? Yes. You have to do it for awhile to get into the industry.
• For how long? I don't know. Until we can figure something else out.
• Will he like it? It's been a secret plot of his for years...so we will see...
• You're going to miss him. Yes. Yes. I am/I do.

D and Daisy, 2007 or 2008

D loves me. I mean loves me. He "like really" loves me. I honestly don't know how I lucked into this marriage. A die-hard jump-before-you-look type of person, D and I fell in love fast one summer and married a sunny fall day in a last minute ceremony 7 months before the "C," as my sweet friend from the pool calls it. This chance choice seemed so certain at the time.

D at Waldo lake

D has held my hair back as I vomited. He has cleaned up vomit, blood, and every body fluid you can imagine. He has cradled me as I cried uncontrollable tears. He has done the bills, the dishes, the dog chores, the cooking, the cleaning, and every other chore imaginable while I lay huddled sick, tired, and out of it in the other room. I'm a lucky one. Lots of spouses leave relationships scared away by "C," mounting medical bills, and the specter of their loved one consumed by themselves.

D has been my calm, my rock, through all of this. I don't think I've thanked him enough. Almost all couples squabble, shout, and snipe. I think we all secretly want to be those perfect sitcom couples, and we just aren't. D and I definitely are not. I guess that's what makes it work though.

One of his friends told us a joke about a husband and wife. The punch line was one says to the other, "Honey, I know I love you a lot, because when I want to choke you, I don't." L iving with someone is hard. Making decisions based on two perspectives and two futures is hard. At the end of day, it's love and a shared vision of a future that binds one to another. Those two things make sacrifice worth it.

D's started and stopped school four times for various reasons. Two of those times happened because of the "C." To him, it doesn't matter. I matter most. I don't know how this happened, but I am grateful; grateful that I know him, that he loves me, and that we can sort through life's messiness together.

Happy 9th, my darling, here's to many more.